How it should have been
by Anjirika
Summary: -Drabble- After the events in ‘The Long Goodbye’ John and Elizabeth have some talking to do and they both realise how things should have been. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW


Atlantis Fanfic

Sparky

Season II- Spoilers for "The long Goodbye"

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, but I wish they were. I get no money out of this; just the gratification of making them do what I think should have been done. Enjoy!

**How it should have Been**

"We need to talk."

"Elizabeth?" John asked, slightly surprised that Elizabeth was standing at his door not half-an hour after they had both been released from the infirmary.

"We need to talk." Elizabeth repeated.

"Alright," John replied as he leaned against his door, getting the hint that whatever she wanted to talk to him about, it was going to be something important. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Um…" Elizabeth faltered, and John say that she was clearly not expecting him to ask to talk about 'it'- what ever 'it' was right away. "Maybe I should come back in the morning."

"No." John protested standing straight again. "If it is important enough for you to come here just after we've been released then it can't wait until morning. Can it?"

"No." Elizabeth confirmed shaking her head, and then taking a look at the deserted hallway she sighed. "But- can we discuss it inside? Not out here?"

"Sure, of course." John replied wondering where his head was at, of course she would want to talk in private. "Come on in."

"Thanks." Elizabeth thanked as she followed his arm's invitation to come in and jumped slightly when his door slid shut behind her. Instinctively she looked for somewhere to sit and saw that the only available seat was on his bed. She followed John silently to is and sat down after him on the edge, curling a foot up beneath her.

"So…" John began after a moment of awkward silence. 'when did our silences become awkward?' John asked himself, however he ignored to question and pressed on with Elizabeth. "You said that we needed to talk."

"Yes." Elizabeth nodded, clearly nervous about something. "But it is late, and Carson will have both our heads if we-"

"Elizabeth," John protested once more as he took her hand to stop her from getting up. "You're here now. What ever it was that you wanted to talk about must be really important to bring you here now, when we're alone. So tell me."

"John," Elizabeth whispered turning away, unsure of how she was going to broach this subject with him, not with her emotions as unstable as they were.

"Talk to me." John pleaded. "Please."

"How can I talk to you when I nearly killed you?" Elizabeth asked her voice thick with emotion that John couldn't decipher and after a moment silence she continued. "How can I talk to you knowing what I almost did?" She asked again sinking back to the bed but turning away from John and placing her head in her hands.

"Phoebes wasn't you." John replied trying to alleviate her guilt. "And for that matter Thalen wasn't me."

"But they were." Elizabeth insisted. "She was- I mean, I wasn't in control of my body, she was- but I still felt everything she did….. I heard my voice order Teyla to shoot you."

"But she didn't." John stated.

"She was about to."

"But she didn't!"

"She was just about to-" Elizabeth insisted looking at John guilt and confusion written all over her face. "The entire time I was watching and hearing what she was saying and doing, and the entire time I was screaming for her to stop, screaming for someone to hear me but nothing came out of my mouth….."

"Elizabeth…"

"Phoebes did things with my body that I would never have done."

"Oh," John stated, looking down thinking that the signals he had been reading since the middle of last year must have been false.

"Like the-"

"Was it that bad?" John asked interrupting Elizabeth and not wanting to tell her that even though it wasn't him in control, and even though his surprise was about as great as Thalen's- he still liked it.

"Yes," Elizabeth answered before she had a moment to think about what she was thinking and when she looked up, she saw John's crestfallen face. "Oh, John- it's just that it-"

"Yes?"

"It didn't-" Elizabeth began again, but faltered again.

"Yes?" John prompted, hoping she was going to say what he thought, what he hoped she was going to say.

"It didn't happen the way I would have liked it to happen." Elizabeth blurted out. 'There,' a voice in her head rang out. '-there, you've told him. Now he knows that you wanted to kiss him.'

John just sat in stunned silence not believing what he was hearing, and his silence caused Elizabeth to panic and think that the signals that she had been reading since the storm and the whole encounter with Koyla were wrong.

"John?" Elizabeth asked, her voice soft and concerned. "John?"

"I must say," John began, standing up. "Of all the things I thought that you wanted to talk about- this wasn't one of them."

"I'm sorry." Elizabeth apologized standing up as well. "I should never have brought it up."

"No wait." John called out, stopping Elizabeth with her hand hovering above the mechanism to open his door. "I'm sorry, I'm just surprised at all I thought….How would you have changed it?"

"Does it matter?" Elizabeth asked turning to face him again. "Does it really matter?"

"I think so." John stated before pausing for a second closing the gap between them. "How would you have changed it Elizabeth?"

"No one would be there-" Elizabeth began leaning back against the regular wall. "-for starters."

"Okay," John agreed. "And-?"

"And it would have happened at our sport on the balcony," Elizabeth continued, slightly embarrassed that she was telling John how she had dreamed how their first kiss would have happened. "- under the stars."

"And then-?" John prompted.

"And then nothing." Elizabeth stated simply turning away.

"Nothing?" John asked. "Why nothing?"

"Nothing, because nothing is exactly what needs to happen John," Elizabeth began. "-it would be inappropriate for a leader and her second in command to-"

"You're not military." John pointed out.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does," John argued. "Besides, I thought that we were co-leaders."

"That's beside the point."

"If it's beside the point Elizabeth, why did you bring it up?"

"I don't know." Elizabeth whispered. "I'm so sorry John." And with that Elizabeth turned and left his room and after a split-second of stunned silence John realised what a jerk he had been and how he intuitively knew where she was going and he vowed to get there before she did.

As she walked, Elizabeth couldn't believe how stupid she had been and she was mentally kicking herself for ever bringing the subject up, especially so close to when it had happened. 'I should have waited a week.' She chastised herself. 'Or I should never have told him in the first place.' Elizabeth was mentally berating herself when a horrid thought crossed her mind. 'Oh god,' Elizabeth thought to herself as the thought cemented itself in his head. 'John is going to hate me- oh god what have I done to our friendship? Oh, I should never have said anything!' And with these thoughts in her head she silently walked through the control room, nodding to the graveyard shift and made her way to her office. As she entered she noticed a figure standing on her balcony and by the stance she knew exactly who it was and it surprised her.

"John?" She asked walking out to join hum, quietly of course so as not to alert the graveyard shift workers. John turned to look at her and Elizabeth spoke again. "John what are you doing out here?" Elizabeth asked standing beside him.

"This." John whispered and before Elizabeth could say another word, his head swooped down and placed a gentle but passionate kiss on her lips and aside from being momentarily startled, Elizabeth sank into the kiss as her arms wrapped them selves around John's head and a satisfied thought floated across both their minds.

'this is how it should have been'

After a couple of moments, John broke the kiss and Elizabeth brought her hands back to her sides and found herself to be totally and completely swept off of her feet. For a couple of seconds they just stared into each others eyes before John broke the silence.

"Was that-?"

"How it should have been? Yes." Elizabeth whispered as she fondly placed a hand on his face to thank him. She was blushing like a school girl and that caused a thought to cross John's head.

"And now?"

"Now," Elizabeth replied with a small smile, removing her hand from his face but placing it on top of his hand and holding it before she leaned in for another kiss. "- we see what happens."

"But the whole leader thing-" John pointed out, making sure one last time that they were both ready to do this.

"We'll figure it out." Elizabeth whispered, her face inches from John's and she kissed him, and kissed them and there they stood, on their balcony, sharing kisses that had been wanting to escape for so long, both enjoying things how they should have been.

Fin.

* * *

A/N- just a little thing to keep all the fans of The Link alright until exams are done. Although- I've kinda hit a snag, so I don't know. But I hope that you like this as well, review if you can! 


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